Okay, I'm a screw-up! What else can I say when I'm basically making people mad, confused, or upset. Oh wait- is that the other way around? Oh- I think it is! I'm the one who, in the end, makes myself mad, confused, or upset. Oh god, you guys probably think I'm crazy right now and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for blowing up and being all moody, grumpy-- hey, why don't we plaster a sign on my head that will say "SCREW-UP. BITCH CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE; not purposely, of course." I don't know what is the matter. I think I'm just basically hard to handle. There's just too much here and I still- somehow, think that everyone would be better off not knowing me since I'm a hard-headed, hypochondriac, rollercoaster-- something!

Seriously though, (did you really think I was serious up there? Maybe a little, but not that much) I have so much- so much in me right now and I just somehow blow it to the only person who would actually listen to me. Why do I keep talking when I make things a mess? Why do I have to hold in so much and not let any out? Instead I just let my frustrations out- and they have every reason to be upset with me! And as for me, my frustration just turns into anger, then sadness... I really feel like no one could understand me. I mean, I'm a mess! I'm a huge mess. Things come out of my mouth and I don't even mean them but they hurt or put some kind of a burden. No one deserves this. If I can't handle myself, who can really put up with me? I ruin things, I'm the cause of things, and I'm never good enough. And this doesn't go out to just one person, even if they think it not, but it goes out to a lot I guess.

Ha, who am I kidding? We're all screw-ups! We all make mistakes. But somehow, it's like I just have to be perfect... Somehow, when I try to be happy- I'm still a mess.

Who could understand that entertainment can just get the mind off things, or music? But they rather cover them, then just letting it go away. I just slip into a world that's not mine and that's how I want it to be. I want to forget about mine and leave mine for an hour. Then, it just comes back because somehow it seems like... I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. I couldn't even spill my heart out anymore. Not even into this; not even into this...