The one that stood out is not from the center.



P.S. Have a happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Sucks for me, I cannot eat solid foods because I am sick (I didn't eat anything Monday, and finally ate something Tuesday night- which is not much, and ended up sticking my head in the toilet in pain.).

Man, I really want mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, yams, and pumpkin pie.
Fall is my favorite season. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Sean and I planned to make a meal, too! Now, it will not happen. :/

I really miss my mom's food when I am sick. She took very good care of me.

My boss probably thought I was not that sick. Oh well. I will still show up for work Friday.

Woops. My "P.S." ought to end now.

It can be nothing.

I give up. It is not a very positive thing to say, is it? I am not expecting to move soon. I am not thinking much about graduating soon. I still want to start over. Nevertheless, I have to be patient; I dislike being patient.

I need new surroundings. I need muses. I do not want to be the same girl that everyone knows of at work. I want change and change will only happen if I allow it too.

What I am possibly most tired of is people wanting me to be this person... Alternatively, rather, something they think will be best and what I should do because they are doing it. I don't want to come home and listen to someone talk about his or her love life, or whatever it is. They talk to me about the same thing.
Can people have better or more thought provoking things to say to me? It seems like uncultured and not so bright or idle persons surround me!

Change is perhaps one of the things that can keep me sane. I tire of redundancy.

Other news, Sean is on a business trip. I almost wish he did something I dislike. I know- horrible of me! I think I am going to regret typing that into here. I feel extremely disgruntled. On the other hand, I am slightly irate that he did not call me tonight. That is possibly the most logical thing I have said or thought tonight.
It is good for him. Great for his job.

I wonder why he does not go to school, already. No, I do not wonder. I know why. It just bothers me knowing he is able to go to college now. He did say he wanted to wait for me. I believe that is an excuse. Presently, he says he cannot because he has other things to worry about (i.e. work, saving money, getting a license and a car, et cetera.). Those are understandable. We do need a car to drive to school. However, he has not followed through as he said he was months ago.

I need to stop this. I am complaining too much.

There has to be a root to this frustration. There has to be. Something started this and it is escalating, and I want to know what it is so I can breathe. I am the only person who can take care of this.

For weeks, I have been figuring out what it is and I have come up with nothing that really nails it. On the other hand, is it fragments of unrelated proportions? Can it be that it is nothing at all? Resulting, therefore, a personal issue- ignored.

I do not know if it is Sean, if it is work, if it is school, if it is moving, or whatnot, that is bothering me. It has to be deeper than that. There has to be at least one thing that started it all. Worse, it can be nothing.