How much longer do I have to stay here? Oh wait, I'm practically prisoner here and my sentence seems to last until I'm 30. Okay, I know, I'm complaining way to much right now, and I won't give any excuses. Well, there's really no excuses, but anyway I seem to be boiling day-by-day, the heat increasing within my chest and my diaphram just ready- ready until it just booms uncontrollably.
You know, I've realized today that I have never finished whatever I have started. The only time I actually stop doing something by my own choice is when I decided to stop taking forensics, but it was really all for good reasons; and if I had stayed, I wouldn't have finished and just left without saying anything; which is much worse, since I realize I did that a plethora of times, but it wasn't by choice, of mine or my mentor...
You know what I can't stand? How fake people are, ha but wait- I shouldn't be talking since I'm probably among one-of-them! I smile and speak of how fine things are going. Fine; or to a select two, I speak at times how irate I am, angry, upset, etc., but with either with a light-heart or with vigorous passion. I force that smile every single day just to go by, and take any serious thing to me light. Eventhough, I really hate myself for doing that, since I am only lying to myself.
Why does it seem that lying is becoming so essential to society? When is anything ever really- genuine and accepted, anymore?
Acceptance, I think that's what is really about. Acceptance. You know, having that feeling of misplacement gone. So many people try just to be accepted and go great lengths at times; and they can tend to lead to harmful results. But, I'm sure they knew/know that. So, why still do it? Are we suddenly blinded by our conscience to the perfection which alludes that "this" is normal? So, therefore feeling unacceptable takes its toll on the mind of a person and just- controls them. And before I go on before bursting anyone's bubble, whatever is right from wrong, it's like black and white. We seem to forget that there is a gray lining in between; and there's all sorts of grays; so whatever is right or wrong, it is your choice, your opinion.
I'd really like to rise above from the lying, the fake smiles and my outlook of things being too pessimistic and expecting the worse to happen. I'd like to finish what I have started and when I do, I know I'm getting somewhere.
So, to the strangers out there that somehow stumbling across this and actually read, finish what you start. Dance to your own beat, and stop following what seems "right."
You know, I've realized today that I have never finished whatever I have started. The only time I actually stop doing something by my own choice is when I decided to stop taking forensics, but it was really all for good reasons; and if I had stayed, I wouldn't have finished and just left without saying anything; which is much worse, since I realize I did that a plethora of times, but it wasn't by choice, of mine or my mentor...
You know what I can't stand? How fake people are, ha but wait- I shouldn't be talking since I'm probably among one-of-them! I smile and speak of how fine things are going. Fine; or to a select two, I speak at times how irate I am, angry, upset, etc., but with either with a light-heart or with vigorous passion. I force that smile every single day just to go by, and take any serious thing to me light. Eventhough, I really hate myself for doing that, since I am only lying to myself.
Why does it seem that lying is becoming so essential to society? When is anything ever really- genuine and accepted, anymore?
Acceptance, I think that's what is really about. Acceptance. You know, having that feeling of misplacement gone. So many people try just to be accepted and go great lengths at times; and they can tend to lead to harmful results. But, I'm sure they knew/know that. So, why still do it? Are we suddenly blinded by our conscience to the perfection which alludes that "this" is normal? So, therefore feeling unacceptable takes its toll on the mind of a person and just- controls them. And before I go on before bursting anyone's bubble, whatever is right from wrong, it's like black and white. We seem to forget that there is a gray lining in between; and there's all sorts of grays; so whatever is right or wrong, it is your choice, your opinion.
I'd really like to rise above from the lying, the fake smiles and my outlook of things being too pessimistic and expecting the worse to happen. I'd like to finish what I have started and when I do, I know I'm getting somewhere.
So, to the strangers out there that somehow stumbling across this and actually read, finish what you start. Dance to your own beat, and stop following what seems "right."
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