Blasphemous!

I enjoy my solitude. I enjoy the tranquility and my state of mind.

Sadly, that wears off when I feel caved in or emotionally repressed.
I cannot stay home longer than a day unless I had a well-lit room from the sun and peace-like scenery.

Being in this apartment I can feel my energy lapsing. Moreover, I am alone, and when there is company, well, I would have to say the energy or "vibe" I feed from them is negative or down. I begin to feel some repressed emotions? I thought I had it handled! Obviously, I do not; or, perhaps, I have been denying myself of emotions--then I, unexpectedly, am slapped in the face with them. I thought I came to terms with my thoughts and emotions. What more do they want from me? Truth? Okay, let's try it! I am afraid. Good. I accept. I will let it go. I am worried. Yes, yes I am! I am being vulnerable, again (I am not going to be vulnerable!).

Alternatively, do I handle them best when I go out? Therefore, I come home, with a free mind and open heart, I accept things and yes, I am happier when I come to terms with whatever it may be. On the other hand, is that the reason for my repression?

I am unsure if this makes sense.