It irritates me that when people say you're not something because of how you are, but yet they do the exact same thing that they have told you you're not, and they are!
Ugh. I seem to be growing with envy the last few days. I set myself so low because I feel I cannot be as great, as wise, as intellectual, as clean, etc. as anyone else. I don't hate myself, really. My attitude or whatever it is is so monotonous that I'm so blase with it. I don't hate myself as much as I did the last few months, so I can say I am improving, somewhat. I still feel so insignificant to anyone. I still think I'm not the good person I want to be.
Anyhow, I seem to be growing with a cold or allergy, and this hormonal girl is yearning to get out and feel alive.
Speaking of feeling alive, I was watching the figure skating nationals (is it the nationals, or something?) and I keep reminiscing about when I was younger, watching Christie and Michelle on ice, and even Disney on Ice, of how I wanted so bad to just feel like I'm flying through the mist-like air and be a little ballerina again. I've been ice-skating, and I loved learning the tricks like twirling and skating backwards, and I used to be in ballet. I would feel that life and just the whole world just vanish behind me.
I love dancing. I love how it makes or made me feel. It was wonderful, and I want to be able to slip off into that world again.
Ugh. I seem to be growing with envy the last few days. I set myself so low because I feel I cannot be as great, as wise, as intellectual, as clean, etc. as anyone else. I don't hate myself, really. My attitude or whatever it is is so monotonous that I'm so blase with it. I don't hate myself as much as I did the last few months, so I can say I am improving, somewhat. I still feel so insignificant to anyone. I still think I'm not the good person I want to be.
Anyhow, I seem to be growing with a cold or allergy, and this hormonal girl is yearning to get out and feel alive.
Speaking of feeling alive, I was watching the figure skating nationals (is it the nationals, or something?) and I keep reminiscing about when I was younger, watching Christie and Michelle on ice, and even Disney on Ice, of how I wanted so bad to just feel like I'm flying through the mist-like air and be a little ballerina again. I've been ice-skating, and I loved learning the tricks like twirling and skating backwards, and I used to be in ballet. I would feel that life and just the whole world just vanish behind me.
I love dancing. I love how it makes or made me feel. It was wonderful, and I want to be able to slip off into that world again.
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