Come on, 2011.

I just want to cry. Why does it seem so hard to cry?? I know if I did cry, it would take a load off.

I am ready for 2010 to end. I've learned so much, I've seen how I really am, and other things... I just want this year to be over with.

This has been the most difficult year I had to deal with for the past 4 years. I am seriously fed up with a bunch of things. I just want to move forward and just have a clean slate. I just want to be on my own. I want to be satisfied being single. It annoys me. I don't want to deal with those emotions that deal with relationships. Seriously. I'm just fed up with them.

I've only been in love once, and that took a while to happen. I honestly think I cannot "fall" or be "in love" again. I don't know how people do it--fall in love and actually be together and be married. Seriously-props to you!! I admire that, and I can only dream of it. But, it's only a dream, and I don't want to be chasing it.

Why is that? Yes-it scares me because I honestly think it cannot happen. But this is me talking while i am sobering up.