Living

I put in so many hours studying, reviewing, and using creative means to make everything I'm consuming click. Unfortunately, it's not working out the way I want it. If I do not get a "B" in this class, then physiology and microbiology MUST be an "A."

I really don't know how I can get through this. I'm so discouraged and tired.

Sometimes, I question whether or not I'm wasting my time doing this. However, I understand this can be stretching me (among other things) or preparing me for something else.

Lately, amidst my frustration, discouragement or fatigue, I've been exclaiming, "why do I have a life?" or, "is this seriously what I'm meant to do as a career?"

Sometimes, I don't even know when to stop until I am absolutely burnt out.

Among everything else going on, school has been the only outlet for me to forget things... However, with me not doing as well as I should in school, I don't even know where to go now. I'm just a walking stick ready to bend and break.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

How can it be?

How can one be sad on such a beautiful day? How can one look out the window and see what an amazing day the Lord has made, see that it is a reason to rejoice and be glad? Why can a heart see and know these things, be grateful for them, but still the tears flow from it? There's a stream of water filled with hope, dreams, and even tears of sadness. There's a love that flows with singing. And I stand by the stream and gaze into an empty reflection.