Indifference

Is it okay to keep things inside? Keep them only to yourself and not even have the one's closest to you know of it; of how you deal with things on your own and not rely on anyone, anything wrong with that?

Of-course, there are those who say that "it isn't good to hold things in," but what's the use sometimes, when you know that it's not even going to be "grasped" by the listener?

I'm starting to question if it's me pushing people away, and not them leaving...

why do we do it? I guess it's just easier that way.

It would be a weird connection to have a kin such as you. It would be nice to have, comforting. Talking about something that is nothing. Or something that isn't nothing, but it's something. Something lost, somewhere; lost in something. It's just- understood.

When people say they get what you're talking about, sometimes they have no clue at all what you are talking about. They know nothing and they can't even grasp how serious it is, to you, at least. Sometimes, they can't even understand what "don't tell" or "don't want to talk about it" means. Even to your best friends- do you really tell them everything? And I mean everything. When you believe that you have given your purpose for such emotive(s), it's like someone is delving you into the cement as if you were chalk that might as well be thrown away since it's becoming useless.

There are times where this inane feeling just creeps up on me. I then question whether or not it's being blown out-of proportion, or if I want some kind of attention. I don't and maybe that's why I don't like talking about "me" really.

Everyone at one point or another has felt disconnected from everybody. That there is something missing in you, or in them... or both, or everywhere. There are those who are tired, frustrated, head throbbing and heart hurting, feelings of failure, bones broken, everything broken. Sometimes the pain is so much, that we lose ourselves in something. May it be work, school, the imagination, whatever. We just lose it. And once we find someone to just sit with and not say anything, not pressure you into saying anything, not provoke you in any way, not letting you say so much by letting you say so little because they know there is much more to that, that doesn't need to be explained, is comforting. Then feeling out-of-place isn't so bad, because somewhere, someone else is feeling the exact same way and thinking the same thing. It's not even sadness or dolor or anger, sometimes they are the most happiest person you see and/or know.

What is the difference of indifference? Nothing. Because all you need is one.