Experienced? or not experienced?

I can look pass my folded mountain of laundry, pass my empty cup of coffee at midnight, and carelessly look about the books among me. 

I can pretend I am not an adult, not in college, or I can pretend I am inexperienced. But I'm far from being "experienced," because I continue to grow--that is, if I want to grow, and if I'm willing to grow. 

Words cannot really express my complexity, nor can I express even my inane ramblings. 

From the inside-out I continue "experiencing." But I cannot do it by my own strength.

Words of a quiet girl cannot satisfy my attempt to muse deeply into an (and to this point, a degree of an) experienced adult. 

*sighs*