I have to tell myself that Sean does not have time to miss me. There can be another person on his mind. That he does not feel the same for me anymore.

I tell myself that I have to deny my love for him. I tell myself to forget or let it go. Move on.

It is simple to fall in love; however, it takes effort to be in love. Love becomes a choice when one has been involved in a relationship with the person.

I can choose to love Sean. In actuality, I do chose to love him; however, the rational part of me tells me to let go of my love for him. Just let go.

This has been uncomfortable and emotional. I have been depressed since it happened. I have been angry, and I am being hard on myself. I know I was not the only one who led to this. I know that. I am wrapping myself in guilt and it is unpleasant. I am what I make it. Therefore, I am trying all that I can to move forward from this.

I know that I can love again, if I allow my heart and mind too. I just don't know at this time. I don't know. I am unsure if I have the capability to allow love in an intimate way again.

Perhaps, I need to choose not to love him the way I do.