I did break up with Sean, and it was difficult. I broke up with him on April 22, and my friend and her husband moved me in to their new place in Culver City the next day.
I was angry and forlorn.
A month has passed; I was working in the store and I remembered Kristene and Mike were out of town. I needed a ride home. The only person left to call was Mark (at this time, I have not spoken directly to or with him over a year ago; we only text and messaged each other, and I realized as others were upset, that he was talking to me and not them, I didn't speak to him for months).
The reason I decided to text him that night is that he lived in Culver City. He missed my call, but by luck, one of my coworkers, Matt, called me and asked if I wanted to have dinner with them. I said yes.
As they were driving me home, Matt said the area I lived in looked familiar, and he thinks Mark lives here. He dropped me off, and I text Mark, "Where in Culver City do you live?" He replied, and to my surprise, he did live here. We lived in the same complex.
In all, we started talking and hanging out. We did not judge each other, and that felt safe.
I always admired him for his mind. He admired mine.
I became independent and happy. I started to pay off my homeschool, I was working in the store and corporate office- so much was going for me. Mark had a lot to do with it.
He helped me develop into a woman I want to be. My faith in life, love, and God grew again.
Although we became close, my heart remained with someone. I already knew Sean had it. I wanted to be fair to Mark, and I made it clear we are going to be nothing more, because it will be unfair to him.
I borrowed his guitar a few days after we started talking. I had lessons from him, and we went out, a lot. He is teaching me how to drive (I passed the written test). We go to museums, art galleries, and last month we saw an orchestra.
By that time, Sean and I were together, again.
I thought Mark would not speak to me or thought he will be cold towards me...
Our friendship stayed the same.
Sean and I got back together in the end of July. I told him since we broke up that I am willing to give it a chance, just at the right time. He wanted to a month later after the break up.
Sean was depressed. He said, "You don't start to appreciate something until it's lost."
He started regretting many things, and so have I. We could have handled it better; however, I believe the break up was for the best. He is careful now and understanding. I am patient now and kind.
I prayed for him every night. I still do. I pray that he will be humbled. I pray for us as individuals, also as a couple.
He wants me to move in with him; I told him no. We will not until we have a car and a new place. He wants to get married, and I told him we should get married when it is right with us, and steady. We can be engaged, but I warned him we should not be if it is his quick way to have me stay with him. I told him it has to be right, and slowing down is not a bad idea.
